11:11 PM
why cant i erase off the memories that i have with you?
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10:27 PM
i cant seem to study efficiently today.
something is hanging around me.
which, i dun seem to know what it is again.
i drift off into space time and time again.
in the late evening, when my mum look at me and claim that there is a pimple on my face..
i can even forgot where it was, and asked my mum is it on my forehead..
i think my memory bank is losing its keys or something.
i store data in the box, and it got locked forever.
haiz, whats the point of remembering it then.
sadded-
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8:47 PM
we take things for granted.
-human nature.
but i know a few people who dun.
they enjoy whats happening around them..
be it good or bad, they accept whatever come their way.
so i should learn from these cheerful people.
no criticisms, only cheerful comments, positive mindset.
------------------------
mum: jiewei, WAKE UP!!
wei: zzz.
mum: 'repeats'
-15 mins later-wei: ma ma, hug hug
mum: so big already still hug.
then my mum walked out of the room.me: YEA. and when he gets older you will complain that he doesnt hug you.
she walked back and hugged my bro, enjoying the moment of happiness.
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10:03 PM
had been seeing lotsa ppl doing photoshop changes,
to the background, face, whatever.
had 2 problems since the last time i used the program.
1. forgot on the layering
2. my brush is disabled
so on one of the band days,
yink asked emu abt the brush colours.
so i watched and tried to recover my brushes today.
and wee~
brushes enabled.
sound silly to those who know photoshop.
but aiyah. im blur k?
edited some photos.
only edited the background.
thats the simplest thing to do.ok.. i dunno why is the above text underlined.
-wonders-
i hope u like the edited pic darling..
happy 2nd month!
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10:32 PM
trying to look over whatever that was done.
but, still stuck in reverse.
my eyes are like becoming more panda-ish.
and that will add another fucking reason to me going to bed earlier.
in which, i cant, coz there are too many things running in my head.
----------------
i will never forget the numb feeling i felt tonight.
for a moment, i feel hatred.
the next, love.
mixed emotions, i guess.
i cant figure out what i should feel now, how i should react to your responses tommorrow, and if i should just go out and get my mind off things.
Q1. What is the thing that jieying will do when she feels enormously upset over one thing?
a) move on
b) stay stuck
c) get back, think about it, and move on after that.
d) cry
face reality, jieying!no point. NO POINT.
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10:39 PM
had lots of compliments today.
made me a happier person.
:]
finally done with all the need-to-complete list in percussion.
with the help and presence of everyone of coz.
didnt realise that i only had one meal today till my stomach growled at 9pm.
yeapps. just when the band ended.
and i so feel like eating macdonalds now.
i wish i can like wake everyone up,
call mac's delivery line.
and order tons of food.
or maybe pastamania.
i want creamy chicken!
*dreams*
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9:57 PM
irritating day.
mum was menopausing over small things.
dun wanna respond to her, so just ignore till she calls for my name.
im not one who listens to your begs-and-calls lo.
ok. not only me. [me and my bro]
met isaac in the evening.
feels refreshing that we get to meet like every 2-3 days than every 7 days.
got to drink godiva-dark chocolate something.
was damn sweeeet. darling claimed was caramel.
-----------------------------------
i wanna lose weight!
exercise > what i consumed
possible?
YES!!!
--------------------------------
darling, grow fur k?
so u can be my big teddy.
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10:45 PM
when we are given choices,
we start to look for the advantages and disadvantages that we can have.
but why cant we be satisfied with what we have?
i guess i should start to hang out with my friends more.
we talk w/o either of us feeling down or have something impt to say.
seriously, u make me dun feel like talking to you.
i shall just make do with what i have.
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1:34 PM
love showered the way it shouldnt be.
shitty thingys will be coming its way in 2-3 weeks time.
being in a diet is tiring.
i have to keep on reminding myself to not eat so much, and have a balanced diet.
hmph. im missing macdonalds and pastamania.
& happy deepavali to my indian friends.
:]
http://www.evelyn.co.uk/homepage.htm -> for percussionists
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10:05 PM
comparing me now with me 2 years ago.
everything big change.
im certain with what i want now.
im going running at least once a week.
LOL.
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10:47 PM
agreed with meiyan that in this world that there will be a minority of people who will be the lazy + slackers.
was complaining to her just now about how some people who i dun like the attitude of.
and yeapps.
its hard to avoid slackers everywhere.
and the best thing they can do- run away from responsibilities, and start slacking somewhere.
of course everyone have their own reasons for moving away from responsibilities.
it just depends on how silly ur reason is. or how true u can be.
being straightforward might bring ur idea towards the person, but at the same time might hurt him/her.
telling a white lie will being a stupid idea forward, but not hurt him/her.
so which is better?
i think it depends who u are reasoning with. hmph
so while the slackers slack, then the rest of the people will just have to suit to this people and cover work of the other people.
seriously, theres no other solution to this.
you can have a talk with these people, tell them to help out, take up their resp.
still, they wont listen.
coz, they are ALREADY branded as slackers.
rDNA tml will b sucky.
havent completed reading though, as the last prob is just like 2 days ago.
slacked in class. yeapps. so prepared to get a low grade.
physically and mentally not able to tahan anymore.
i just need some comforting words.
its the time of the month, therefore its okay to act kiddy for a min or two.
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10:12 PM
mcb ut tml, rDNA ut on fri.
right now, just changed my blogskin.
not wanting to study anymore.
last week, i studied quite deep for immunology,
end up feeling confused about what answer i should write.
waste of time also.
so for cell culture ut,
i just let myself have a brief look on my notes,
studied a bit on what my team did not cover.
and yea. the test was great!
except that i overshot the word limit by 99 words.
6 marks gone, but its okay.
the feeling of able to do the test brings me up.
:)
so right now,
gonna just do the same for these two modules,
and hope the test will be good to do with.
friends of mine, taking this 'paper',
good luck!
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1:15 PM
i hate you.
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9:16 PM
i felt like a couch potato.
not watching tv, but looking into the com reading, revising.
doing everything at the last minute.
didnt planned my time like 2 weeks ago. or even like 3 weeks ago,
so that i will be able to finish revising by now. or maybe 3/4 done.
just started to revise for my cell culture, cell and molecular and rDNA.
done with cell culture and cell and molecular.
dun really feel like touching rDNA.
its like...so many things to cover.
i dun even know if i can grab at least a B for my tests.
im just scraping, 'browsing' and reading new resources when i discover any.
seriously, if u think rp is an easy sch, u should try coming in and give it a shot.
no fixed notes, lessons are discussions, our facilitators are like tape recorders. (as is when u ask them- what is a nucleus? they will say- why don't u find out what is a nucleus?)
most imptly, our tests are not definition questions.
dun admire us having notes to refer to.
coz they dun give any damn fucking help.
which means, its based on understanding. thats why its called an understanding test.
how i wish we can have more practical sessions.
hmph.
and now i understand why some shops sell cushions for wrists when u are using the mouse.
f.
im going to fully hate studying.
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9:31 PM
today's darling's 27th birthday.
went to watch bleach, then ate at the hk street with his buddies. (prev old classmates)
can see that they had a great time bringing up the moments in their school life.
gm and aunt went overseas.
good to let them explore more of the world, before they grow even older.
so after sending them off, went to this innovation exhibition at expo.
they have above average ultimate gadgets.
my fav was the medical tech.
which consists of a pen and a piece of paper.
a doctor with those things are able to transfer the data, that he/she wrote, into the com just by placing it back into the holder.
its not an ordinary pen or paper.
the paper consists of small dots that represent codes to allow the pen to code for the information when the user starts to write.
i think it has something to do with photons.
will read up when i have the time.
3 things i wish i can have now.
-sleep
-finish studying for my tests
-an aircon room (or maybe a room by myself)
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10:43 PM
im actually feeling down.
and again, i dunno why.
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9:36 PM
[edited]
studies doesnt appeal to me.
coz i dun like to read. furthermore i am good at forgetting, so i dun find a point in reading.
staying at home with my family doesnt appeal to me.
coz my mum's always pointing out what i should be doing, and i get pissed coz partly she is trying to mutate my schedule.
going for a run downstairs early in the morning doesnt appeal to me.
well, the bed always looks more refreshing than the track.
slping early doesnt appeal to me either.
im already having a weird body clock. i need to wait till like 11pm then i am able to fall asleep. lying on the bed earlier than that will only give me a lot of yawnings and turning around in the bed.
something's missing.
im not able to do what i want. as in the changes that i wanna make to my day.
ok.. i know what im missing.
-rollerblading.
darling,
no wonder im having a temptation to meet you.
lol.
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9:35 PM
eating is something i do to kill boredom, frustration or to celebrate happiness.
i fulfilled that 3 reasons today.
and i ate pastamania- creamy chicken again.
hehe.
i love u darling.
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10:04 PM
i was upset for lots of times, but back to being stable for a while today.
mood swings i guess.
hmph.
got damn frustrated abt that immunology faci.
she poured sarcastic remarks on us, continuously.
okay, we made a mistake. we just didnt catch her words on what we have to do by the next meeting, and she treats us as if we skipped her lesson.
irritating.
next, asked some band mates if they wanna go for pastamania after school,
meanwhile having individual practices on our instruments.
i was being thrown or put aside or something.
i dunno. somehow i had a feeling for u.
but u lied to me.
again and again.
well, was brooding abt it.
hmph.. maybe i trust people too easily..
lastly, signed into msn.
saw darling online.
wanted to like chat for a while.
and while my com 'paused' / hanged for like 3 seconds..
the next moment i start a conversation with him.
he appeared offline.
SO.paradigm shift.
early in the morning.
i SHOULD just IGNORE that thing nagging away in that corner of the class.
WELL, maybe she had some nightmare the night before, and couldnt get over it.thats why she is acting like that.im so saded.in the evening,
i SHOULD just not even like ask that person out.
and maybe when the person gives an excuse, maybe i should just take it as another lie or something.
WELL, maybe the person experienced some conflicts with some of that person's friends, and she is afraid of rejecting people's requests, therefore providing a lie to cover up the absence.im so saded.at night,
i SHOULD just stayed in the bathroom for a while longer.
so that i wont see him online. knowing that he wont be.
but surprisingly he did, and it triggered my excitement.
WELL, maybe its fate.im so saded.
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7:43 PM
as my dreams and fantasies swing from time to time,
sometimes i will be able to get a hold of myself to get back down to reality.
but if i didnt, i might end up upsetting one or two people around me,
just to fulfill that dream, in the end, being upset myself as well.
i know im not good enough.
thats why i dun have high expectations of myself.
i wont be acting,
as if im a princess from a love story or a girl from a rich family.
time to realise everything is not a dream.
take things as it go, and do what i must do.
i just want everyone else to be happier.
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10:13 PM
tests coming up.
me sitting here staring at how beautiful you are.
dreaming of the day that we can be together again.
arghhh..
-fans thoughts away-
how i wish the tests questions will be about you...
hurrrr.
I SHOULD STUDY.
sigh.
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11:16 PM
we played with candles in the house.
ate mooncake, and drink green tea.
i wonder, how will the house be 10 years later?
when me and my bro grow up, we wont be so childish anymore.
we wont be smacking each other's flabby arms, tickling each other, and say scary stories in the night, and also play with out soft toys.
the atmosphere of my family is always within me and my bro.
what will happen when one day, im married, and he is married?
will my parents be able to take the silence?
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11:02 PM
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10:59 PM
i find licking ice creams passionate.
and putting chocolate flavour between me and you = love + loads of sweet stuffs
i missed you darling,
but now our night is gone again.
i will just have to wait for the next time we meet again.
i hope u win toto tml.
-giggles-then we can share among everyone
-giggles again-and buy a
big brownie + ice cream on top, and eat till we become fat.
-laughs-then we will go run everywhere everyday.
-laughs again-AND and everyday i will see u, without u working anymore.
-laughs insanely-*smiles for an hour*
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10:13 PM
how do i search for happiness?
we are in just two different worlds.
that is what i see.
i looked back, and find that i am restricting myself to something.
how am i gonna adapt?
i dunno.
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3:08 PM
i have put up posts on my shop
please click on the link on the right side (just below isaac)
:)
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12:34 PM
testing my immune system since i was sick on friday.
and today is wednesday, and im not well yet.
although had only two lessons on immunology till now,
learnt lots about the immune system, and why symptoms are showed.
too much to really squeeze into my brain.
right now,
having fever, running nose, sore throat, and an infection.
hope it will be okay around 2 weeks later.
i just have to wait for my innate immune system to fight on the running nose,
and the adaptive response to HURRY detect the infection and the sore throat..
so since im having a fever, it shows that..
hey, the soldiers are marching down the field!
meanwhile, drinking lots of water will help..
--------------------------------
it feels good to talk to someone else once in a while.
appreciated :)
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10:02 PM
i love my bro.
every bit of him.
and i was so satisfied that i am able to convince him about 'singing.
well, i dun really sing.
but, after watching high school musical today, i rem him telling me abt the song that he like,
which is in the movie,
so after i went home, we talked for a bit..
and i sang to him that song.. [with asking him whats the lyrics and stuffs]
it feels good to have someone admiring what u have, and what u can do..
and i know that he loves and respect me as his sister,
because when i was bathing, i heard him singing in the room.
and because of singing in high pitch,
my sore throat got worst, and i dun think i want to speak anymore.
it even hurts to swallow the saliva.
and darling,
my mum wants u not to over-kiss me.
lmao...
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1:20 PM
i had buffet ytd.
was terribly sick.
an illness after the other.
i know im repeating my posts.
but, i dun think i see my tummy anymore..
:)
or is my vision blurring?
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