Thursday, July 31, 2008

11:27 PM

these few days i am so into facebook.. then i look at everybody's photos..
till i chanced upon one.. then what stunned me was her cleavage.
omg. i was like.. "am i really seeing a cleavage at her chest area?"

pardon me for my crudeness. but her breasts are in fact smaller than mine.
...
i have weird friends la.
friends who got big boobies dun want to show.
friends who got small boobies wanna kek everything out.

wah liew.
now i am happy with my size.
HAHAHAHA.

anyway~
tomorrow is nurses day.. hooray!

they will have a lot nice and luxury food.
yum yum.

;treasure them

3:38 PM

it's so dumb when u get butterflies in your stomach at 2pm for that nerd's interview at 3pm.

roars..
i am not the one going for the interview.
._.

;treasure them

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

3:09 PM

i strongly believe in fate.
although coincidence happens quite often around me.
i am still happy from the way surprises are given.
althought uncalled for, yet satisfying to have.

i am known to many people that i jump from relationships to relationships.
of course. haha.
i let go very easily. and vice versa, able to trust people too easily as well.
it can be a bad point if you see that i am just being naive at everything. nv wanting to learn from the mistakes that i have made.
but it can be a good point too if you see that i am just putting this same character of mine out to everyone, and looking for the one who is able to 'tolerate' me.
i dunno if tolerate is a good word to describe.
nonetheless, i am happy for who i am and what i have.

oh wells.
im sure my angel is here with me, optimistically to find the perfect fit for me.
so that's why i have to try different fittings.

and i am happy for the respect that you have shown.
throwing away the longest relationship i have till now is not easy for me.
but like i said. i am happy for the way you have respected me.

sally knows. he is my god.
to be exact. my sex goddess.
HAHA

ok... ciao~

;treasure them

Monday, July 28, 2008

12:15 PM

i could feel your warmth when you place your arms around my waist.
and then you gently peck on my cheek with your pouty lips.
it just makes me crave for more.

your big belly bulges out, giving me a chance to just lay my head on your comfy fats.
i would love to fill your body with my kisses.
and looking through your eyes.
there is always an eternal signal of "i love you, please do not leave me."

no worries darling. i love you sally.

;treasure them

Sunday, July 27, 2008

12:43 AM

went for a 'swim'
why i put that ' aprostrophe cause i dunno how to swim.
and alicia taught me how to. in which i got it 70% right.
yeah. im happy that she put it in a logical way for me to learn.
1-use your arms, legs straight. 2-kick, arms straight.
seriously, i may be good at multitasking--> singing and drumming at same time..
but those two actions kinda take my breath away.
it's worst than chasing a bus.
you know that pathetic width of the swimming pool?
'swimming' a third of it made me stop and HUR HUR HUR.
gasp for more air.
omg. to think im from a marching band and in percussion.
shame shame.

**
sidetrack.
you know how influential family members can be.
especially your mothers.
eventually she got to know about the breakup.
and she said
"no matter how much a guy loves you. he will nv want to leave you. not even the word break up will flash in his mind."
(of course in chinese)

and sidetrack a little bit more.
the guy A that lady B hook up last week was seen during dinner today.
with his family.
and then told lady B to sms guy A see whether going chiong tonight or not.
sitting beside his wife. guy A messaged lady B back. will be there about 11..

oh my. guys can give so much to their family.
i believe he owns a car.
yet flirts outside.
what a bastard.

;treasure them

Saturday, July 26, 2008

12:12 AM

had beef hor fun at geylang lorong 9.
seriously it is darn nice!
although it cost about 6 a plate.. but woots~
kudos to that stall man.

alright.

i want my sashimi again.

;treasure them

Friday, July 25, 2008

12:37 PM

lala.
im so happy that rpws got silver in the division.
woots~
but sad tt im not within their batch.. and go to prague ...
roarsss.

ok. i guess i am just so specific with science.. that general terms makes me go crazy.

patient rushed into clinic.
"i need to do the blood vessel."
"huh.."
"the blood vessel" *points to arm*
"huh. i dun understand what you saying. here is dental"
"oh ok. you dunno the doctor that does blood vessel?"
"er no."

ok. shit i dunno how to get that color back.
roarrrrrrrrs

ok. then when he walked out of the door.
i was thinking...
OH. MAYBE HE WAS SAYING VEIN.
oh wells. the vein doctor is just opposite mine.
*smirks*

;treasure them

Thursday, July 24, 2008

9:42 AM

just let it go.

that was not even my line a few months ago.
to chiong for fyp and everything else.
but now, like you have said. i have given up.

you know when you see some tv programmes, and they have this short clips of people going to the future kind of thing.
i always thought it was unreal, just like ghosts being able to suck out human souls.. they are all unreal.

but last night, i had that short clip feeling so much, that i cant believe that i really had.
it is when you staring into space. then you are holding his hand. the next moment you are holding your thighs.
and it is when you are crying, then he hugged you. and the next moment he has both of his hands on the steer.

i controlled so much. i could feel my heart and mind bursting.
i know i can go berserk over this.
but that's the way it is.
that was the only chance for me to prove that we are really really over. i hope i dun regret.

;treasure them

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

11:44 PM

music makes you feel alive.. :]

was down with flu today..
the things kept dripping.. but after meeting green it stopped.
then dunno for what reason, it dripped again after leaving green..

ok. im so hungry and tired now.
roars.

im so happy when people come to you and say..
"eh jessica.. you can sing this song anot..?"

lol. this shows that .. I HAVE IMPROVED!
woots~

;treasure them

10:10 AM

100% satisfied with yesterday's jamming.
though not playing my own instrument.. HAHA.
when paying for the session..
the band outside waiting ask

"eh just now u sing ar?"
"uh yeah."
"then u play drums also ar?"
"uh yeah.. haha"
"wah. good ar."
"no la.. cause drummer on vacation and vocalist sick"
"but not bad what.."
"smiles"
then i proceed to paying the thingy.
woots.
COMPLIMENT!!

hehe.miss you

;treasure them

Monday, July 21, 2008

9:37 AM

i know it will be a good day today.
but after seeing a couple dashing across the road.
it just reminds me of you stupidly breaking the laws, even when u know that rules are meant to regulate the country.

that's him.

;treasure them

Sunday, July 20, 2008

10:24 PM

im feeling upset for the whole evening.
just thinking about how things have been the past few weeks.

and it's so sad cause i have just been ignoring too many things for too long.

;treasure them

8:21 PM

;treasure them

4:00 PM

went partee-ing with alicia, joan and shan.
i went there ultra late, partly cause they decided to leave earlier and im still on my bed tossing.
then i woke up to eat choc, watched my cousin and bro play PS2.
have milo.. before i make my way down to vivo. (since it's raining too.)

so upon reaching, went marche to have rosti.
seriously the queue is darn fucking long and people still join the queue.
so i savour my rosti slowly in hope for the rain to stop.
meanwhile hearing some shits flowing out from joan and shan's mouth.
talking about you-know-what-not-supposed-to-say.
with two pregnant ladies sitting beside our table.
._.

then this fussy alicia wanted to look for dress, nike stuffs, and dunno what.
in the end walk from shop to shop, and she bought the most stuffs.
i think last night she practically swiped $200 off her credit card.
sheez. although partly is our drinks.. but the most take 1/2 out nia.

so clubbing was fun.
first visit to st.james powerhouse.
a bit like lunar, as in the songs that they sing.
we went there so late. because of that fussy woman. and we could not get a table.
so joan tried to squeeze and make space near the bar for all of us.
slowly slowly, we got a stool, bla bla bla.
then shan got drunk, danced heavily, and gave me and joan some accidentals.
oh well. can't mention here. too embarassing.

and alicia surfed the web there.
holy crap. im NEED TO BLOG IT HERE.
who goes clubbing and surf the web there?
she wasnt even moving to the music.
just looking at her phone.
till she got the chivas out.
yay. and i got high so i danced before her.
that's when her frequency and mine START to match.
wth. she is so lag.
so a few guys came over, and -----------------------------
yeapps. completely censored.

:]
enjoyable night.
something in remembrance of when you are still young and single.
ok. now i rem that i have forgot to bring my paper towel flower stuck in a straw home.
HAHA. not worth it anyway.
;)

;treasure them

Friday, July 18, 2008

10:19 PM

was looking through the photos for the past twenty minutes.
miss taiwan trip with rpws lots.
and flame awards as well.
cant believe that we did so many crazy stuffs..

anyway. work today is a little bit more interesting.
the part time auntie taught me how to cast models..
lol. next time i can try!

lala. im so bored.
paramore~

;treasure them

12:14 AM

jamming today is terrible.
i hope i will be able to sleep later.

im so tired.
headache.
feet pain.

rock singer not?

;treasure them

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

10:13 PM

i am having a pimple breakout.
omg....

alright.
first lesson learnt from this wait and see period.

if you do not do something about it, huge results are not going to come your way.
putting in time and effort the only path to success.
keep thinking, and planning, afraid of this and that..
it may help you narrow your search..
but not trying it zeros your chance.

;treasure them

12:02 PM

i have just went for a job interview at biopolis for position of lab technician.
i didnt get the job in the end, because of silver's present.
they did state that it is husbandry, but didn't state that i need to be free from pets and rodents.
so well. for silver's health sake, i didnt get the job.
three cheers for silver!

well. and for the later part of the morning.
i am not good enough to be yours.
thanks for the whole setup of the membership thing.
it is not that i am not attracted to the benefits.
but, i deem myself not good enough to deserve priority service.

i told you. im stupid.

;treasure them

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

9:00 PM

i feel so ashamed of myself when you called me sweetheart.
to be able to forgive what i have already done.

the question that i have been asking myself for years, i haven't got any answer yet.
why am i still longing them to separate? why am i still seeing that smelly pit as a place where beautiful flowers grow?

on separate accounts, i guess that is the power of love.
the moment you fall in deep, it doesnt matter that it takes forever to go to the surface.
the problem is. basically, you don't want to.

so a piece of advice. i guess it is better to leave me :]
stupid me will take a very long time to realise whose love is true.

;treasure them

Monday, July 14, 2008

11:46 PM

both of my parents fall sick.
my dad got a very bad cough, had rashes from the antibiotics.
my mum had a fracture from skipping. got a big cast on her left leg today.. (cant post photos cause cant find the wire to transfer)
alrighty. then i got to be home these few days then...
which is difficult to be.. cause already make plans since last week.. but will still try :]

had salmon today.. totally satisfying!
just that someone dunno how to appreciate. *sighs*
lol..

alrighty.
looking forward to the next jamming session though.
last night's session made me couldnt get to sleep.
the sounds still echo in my head.
i got into bed at about 12.
and the last time i see the time in my phone is at about 2.30 thereabout.

afterwhich woke up when my bro is preparing for school.
and well. not being able to slp but mentally and physically tired is making me real mad.

** sidetrack
this mornin in the train.
guys surrounded me again.
hate it. especially when they are middle aged guys.
then this guy standing right in front of me, fiddled the phone from bishan to toa payoh.
then took out his sony ericsson earpiece and fiddled all the way till somerset.
this is what he did.
-pluck into phone
-choose song
-put wires under collars
-make sure that both left and right ear wires are of equal length
-put phone into pocket
-look into reflection
-fiddled with the small controller
-took out the wire connecting to the controller, stuff the whole thing inside his shirt
-took out one of the ends from one of the hole in between buttons
-put the wire back
-look into reflection
-fiddled with belt
-take the controller out again, and loop it in the belt holder, then under the belt then up to the shit, then back to the other end of the wire. (mind you, it is freaking disgusting to see an old man being such a perfectionist. cmon. nobody will wanna see where u hide those wires..)
-look into reflection
-make sure that both left and right ear wires are of equal length AGAIN.
-look into reflection
-takes out phone and choose songs, instead of using the controller
-put phone into pocket.. (and he tries to find a good spot to put in. so fussy)
-look into reflection
-adjust the controller (with a right angle to his buttons)
-SOMERSET FINALLY-

wah liao. old man. must be dun have a partner that's why minding his image so much.
if not then darn perfectionist luh.
early in the morning already so picky. pity those that work for him.
*sighs*

;treasure them

12:01 AM

im glad that alicia speaked with a sensible mind.
cause somehow she enlightened me with her plans,
and while i was browsing through the books in a store today.. it said..
"there are no borders on earth, like in your life, go as far as you can."
and
"knowledge stops you from doing something special. the tip is - stay childish."

alrighty. anyway. freaking hungry right now.
ehhh. i did managed to survived through jamming.. haha
luckily was mistakenly booked for one and a half hours..
if not the tempo will koyak.

still looking forward to the next though :]
so fun!
alrighty. in fact more fun than kboards.. haha

ok.
have to slp.
its 9 minutes past miid night... LOL.

;treasure them

Friday, July 11, 2008

9:46 AM

yesterday morning, i woke up earlier than ever to stroke sally's head and then told myself "you are not with isaac anymore."

i dunno if i dream of him or not. i cant remember.

and this morning, i was duper late for work.
luckily the auntie pms-ing, so she didnt talk to me at all.

anyways, we are all so realistic.
when one is not up to expectation, off the list he/she goes.
and when that person is so perfect, you will nv ever want to let him/her leave.

then what happens to those that are unfortunate? got a bad day?
who 'sees' the reasons behind and tries to bend their golden rules?

absolutely no one.

;treasure them

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

10:09 PM

im gonna die this sunday evening.

my calf muscles gonna cramp. and i have arranged green to piggyback me. HAHA

my mum nagged at me again. for not having got a job yet.
now i regret not being a boy and go NS.

at least can go train up, then when go clubbing still can jio girls.
with my features, a lot of sugar mama will come find me de lo.

oh well. enough crap. i listened too much of 2 minutes to midnight till my right earpiece spoil liao.

boo.

;treasure them

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

11:27 PM

this was the last meetout session with jinyu.
i forgot if i post the photos up. but these are two photos from about 20?
hehe. the cuter ones of course. and the below photo was supposed to be act cool. but hehe.
ok. then some camwhoring session.
and silver kissed me and whispered "darling, i will be here for you."
ok. some nice photo again. im satisfied to get my hair in place again.
instead of some bob-hair-style.



went back to RP to hear the band played.
great improvements for the band! 3 cheers~
i guess what's left will be feeeel.

and i bought donuts for my section.
im happy that they enjoyed totally. very great feeling indeed.
i sang my way home on the bike.

yea. i can feel myself getting happier from time to time.
oh wells. i have and need to.. :]

even though im getting bullied by my colleagues. whatever~
during the himalaya event, was asked to go get lunch for everybody.
first time still okay, bought from the same stall (total 9 packets)
second time buy from diff stalls, some claim muslim, some claim not feeling well, some want hot tea, KNN. (make me queue all over again and again with those fucking heavy lunch boxes.)
still say want to increase my pay, but in the end still the same amount.
somemore compared with shawn (the one op my booth)
he sit down there talk cock with friend for the whole day, get $90.
i do so many fuck things get $60 a day.
wtf. it's just the people u meet la.
suay means suay dao lao sai.

then back in office. ytd went off in a rush.
told auntie to lock cupboard 3 since she is using the one below cupboard 3, but still belongs to cupboard 3.
she nv reply, so i just gao bie and go off.
this morning she kaobei me. say i nv do my job properly, nv lock the cupboard 3.
i say u were using cupboard 3 what. and i told u liao lo.
then she fucking say it's your job ma. to lock cupboard 3.
then i repeated what i say before.
she say i dunno lo. u never say.
then like that she win liao lo.
when the argument has "i dunno", "mei you ren ken wo shuo", "you never say lo" means GG liao.
dun have to argue, cause in any case, the person is so fucking petty he/she wont give in.

what's with this month?
people keep using me.

today outside the lift. this young lady with an american accent just shove this namecard in my face.
"where is this"
i took a look and say "oh it's at mount e, level 15, but paragon is errr level 17"
reply, "then can go from here?"
me, "yea, if you take the transfer lift at level 7"
reply, "oh ok"
-lift came-
-went in-
that young lady "which floor?"
i looked at the floor and said 7
not even a thank you or okay coming out from her mouth.
-reached level 7-
young lady, "here?"
i looked at her, smiled and said "yes"
and then off she goes. with no thank you. no smile. no appreciate for your help.

and i should ask again. what's wrong with this month?

someone just told me "let's be friends again"
ok. what do u treat me as?
at first "do not contact me"
and then?

and i should really ponder. what is seriously wrong with this month?

;treasure them

Monday, July 07, 2008

12:52 PM

there is this particular classic love song cd in office.
and whenever it goes to this particular song,
it reminds me of this particular person standing on that table,
and well singing that particular song to me.

and after those particular watery things dropped, i made it clear to myself that no, memories are not easier to forget.
but no matter what those watery things will never drop again.

unchained melody

;treasure them

Sunday, July 06, 2008

11:58 PM

see it the way you see it is, and it will deemed as that.
if you put it through a stranger's ears, he will give you directions that has not come across your mind.
be it good or bad, it is up to you to balance the wants and dun-wants and then get to your destination.
clear enough, the building has collapsed.
and we have to change directions unplanned.

who knows? you may get to PARAGON.
lol. a higher standard of shopping place than MUSTAFA.
but of course, it is not 24/7. so dun expect too much from it. the prices, the range of products, the services...

oh well, memories are easier to throw away..
right?

;treasure them

Thursday, July 03, 2008

10:27 PM

;treasure them

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

11:21 PM

it's kiss my ass.

im not gonna comment anymore. it feels like it's not going to end.
since im not allowed to contact you, and so what's this blog-pathic thingy?

alrighty..

have been taking two meals a day. and for that very last meal, it is just some hard liquor and then cab home.
eh... let me count.. since sunday?

dun worry, im not torturing myself.. just a little bit of letting my mind run to the other side of the world.

oh yeah. im super hungey now.
can eat the whole carl's junior burger and fries i guess.

alrighty. gonna get some book from the music store tml, and practice on some nice classic songs.
it's been a while when im hook to getting into my world of fantasy.

:]
i wanna get so addicted to you.

and paulie paul make me laugh hard today.
J: oh well, me and isaac's done too.
P: really?!
P: what's my queue number?
J: only ladies get queue numbers.
P: wah liao. dun like that luh. i wait for v long liao lei.
J: bleh. no.

HAHA. idiotic. go get your fish luh.

;treasure them

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

10:42 PM

im happy that you managed to figured out the go fuck yourself part.
it just proves how much you understand what i am gonna swear at you for.

i would have apologised at that point in time, but i choose not to.
reason being, i find no point in it.
this argument is completely senseless. to think u can find a thousand and one words to matched the words of mine.
to break off just because i say im not going to turn up for bbq when you emphasised on puntuality?
oh well, why dun you go recap about the tone you have used on me.
perhaps that would be the climax of the whole argument.
and that may explain why i keep hanging up the phone on you.
i dun talk to screaming people.

screaming people = mad people = crazy people.

oh well. i have decided then to put everything of his aside.
of course it is impossible to put everything aside.
but just as much as i can do.
cause looking and using the stuffs for everyday usage is just too difficult to change.
but oh well, we all change.

look at how we have changed in handling this.
it's just like lovers turning to enemies overnight kind of thing.

think i will apologise?
then figure this out
**** ** ***

;treasure them

9:28 AM

jy: you got drive right? why not come to amk to pick me, then i dun have to take a one stop train down to bishan. it's so near.

iz: but you always let me wait lo.

jy: where got always? and how long did i make you wait for me?

iz: you always lo. always wait for about 10-15 minutes.

jy: 10 to 15 minutes very long isit? there are times i waited for you at novena also what. some up to 30 minutes, but i didnt even mention lo.

iz: novena only what. and you are supposed to wait for me de lo! humans wait for cars what. where got cars wait de.

and that's when i feel no point to continue this argument, and dun even want to meet up with him to go for the bbq. since i can only stay for the most one hour, then head to my cousin's place, then head to changi airport to fetch my parents.

then he said that i am disrespecting his mum for not going to turn up. but im more disappointed in your behaviour. about you doing a lot of things for me, and i should give something back in return. well, if that's the case, aint you acting like someone called yunus?

hello? i dragged your mum into the picture?
get that clear please.

it is kinda dumb to make this small argument into a break-up. but since im deemed to be
- ingratitude and unfair.
- double standards and totally unfair
- hypocrite and definitely can't practice what I preach.
- petty
- absence of humility
- no longer humble, grateful
- blatant boast of surrounding guys does not add to his sense of security.
- ungrateful, arrogant and a petty hypocrite who expects others to change for me yet i don't practice what i preach.


what's the point?
you even said that there are loads of other women outside who can be punctual.
oh my, you are then such an Angelic figure.

three words to you.
** **** ********

;treasure them