Saturday, March 31, 2007

11:34 PM

the world aint simple.
watched the passion of christ at darling's place.
it sure engrave some hardcore stuffs in my mind, disrupting the peaceful and kiddy thing in me.
oh wells. hope it will go away soon.

darling encourage me to be strong.. so yeapps.
i need to learn. :]

somewhere, somehow..
i feel safe by ur side.
and that's how i know.. that you are the one for me.

hearts.

;treasure them

Thursday, March 29, 2007

11:28 PM

sometimes.
when the sun rises, and the heavy rain clouds cover it.
you just think that the sky is dark, and it wont get sunny till the rain falls.

but the thing is that, there is still the wind.
it can help to blow the clouds away.

thats why im having a fan at speed no 2 blowing right at my face, right at this moment.
to blow my troubles away.

:]
somehow it works.
well.. for me.

;treasure them

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

11:13 PM

please refer to isaac's blog for further details.

im so tired.
and i have to wake up at 7.30 tml...


happy birthday jieying.
u need to seriously clear ur eye bags.
>.<

;treasure them

1:14 PM

i have more reasons to take photos now.
i lost my pics and music through format ytd.

ok. my main point in coming here to blog coz i have found my reasons in living for another year of going-to-be-19.

1. i want to love my family. give back what my parents need of what i am able to give..
full of sacrifices. will i be able to do the same?

2. gonna clear my eye bags before im gone. its fugly ugly lo. dun wanna die with it.

3. commit to the relationship. :]

4. be aware of the needs and wants. [our wants are relative to what other people have, not to some absolute measure]

5. lastLASTgonna grow my hair till my elbows.

orh kay. 5 points as usual.
love number 5.

;treasure them

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

11:15 PM

i got my com reformatted.
and i kindly made another 2-3 friends there.
but i dunno why the it-helpdesk-girl doesnt want to join in our conversation..
outcast.

k neh mind. diff personality. :]]

this guy. calls himself the tall indian guy..
explained to me why my com is STILL SO LAGGY after i reformat.

one it is a fucking old model.
twomy memory space is becoming smaller by just reformatting.
threethe processor is aging (well i call it aging)

i signed up for this tutor thingy at bishan..
but seems like i aint getting any reply..
guess someone had it before i send my mail.
sadded.

i need to save more money lei.

and thanks paul..
for playing upwords in singaporean version with me today :]

;treasure them

Monday, March 26, 2007

10:07 PM

my lappie is goin for a brainwash tml.
& paul is gonna be my bodyguard.
...maybe we should game 'divendends'
win all his assets.. (as usual)
and hope my lappie is gonna work like Einstein alright.

**
MICROSOFT WORDS shut down on me while i was polishing up on my lit review and my log book accounts.
fucking hurt my heart can.
asshole.

**
band tml.. wee~
i miss having mai and sadiq shivering with me.

;treasure them

Sunday, March 25, 2007

11:52 PM

oh yea.
isaac went to my grandma's (paternal) place.
to celeb my upcoming birthday..
dad bought kfc, isaac bought canadian pizza and my uncle bought cheesecake.
ultra nice and ultra sin-ned.

pics will be coming soon.
:]

;treasure them

11:36 PM

im down to run again!
run= walk 10 rounds + jog some rounds (have to be more than 1)
coz MY alicia says that i am starting to look yellow and well. advice me to do some exercise.
& yeapps! :]]

just ytd, i felt this numb feeling in my big toe in both of my feet.
poor blood circulation, mum says.

time to chiong for the last year!
school is starting in two weeks.
well, hope i wont get so sick of proteins and DNA.

;treasure them

Saturday, March 24, 2007

9:49 PM

i shall stop asking those questions.
afterall, it doesnt make any difference to you.

;treasure them

Friday, March 23, 2007

10:36 PM

bought my nutcracker suite.
not as fantastic as the one which i heard from SSO...
maybe coz its the complete ballet.
hmph.

i cant wait for sat to pass.
cant wait for sunday evening to stay.
cant wait to skip to wednesday and just pause..
fast forward to friday night.
and one week is gone again.

that is the prob when u start to live in a high tech world.
when u cant find ur things on the table.. or somewhere else.
u wish u can just press ctrl-F and type in 'ur things'
it will then be happily highlighted..

i miss darling.

;treasure them

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

10:09 PM

somehow i just feel that i might have a hard time with her for months.
i hope patience wont run out on me.
its so diff to get things through her head, then meeting the deadlines, and fulfilling the criteria.
i still dun understand, or maybe im still a kiddo..
is money really that important?

ok. it has to be of a certain amount, and it differs to diff people.
it can bring happiness, of coz.
but like someone says, humans are greedy, selfish, and have increasingly high expectations.
& things happen.
u start to pour in more time than what u can give.
u feel extremely powerful, coz of the amount earned.
u get more friends.
u have a better recognition.
u gained trust from people easily.

look,
who is the one complaining about the process + complaining of not being good enough + not enough time for other things + feeling tired most of the time.

cmon, its not that i cant listen out to your 'blah blah'
but why, WHY .............................


ok. fine.
maybe im living life too simply.
maybe i look things past too easily.
maybe i let things go as fast as it comes.
and i dun have expectations for myself.
most of them came from the stress of my parents.
well. maybe im still so childish.

at least, i know im better than you.
k. fuck.
i guess its the jealousy of being less capable in getting income drowning me.

ok. damn.
i think its pms.

;treasure them

11:24 AM

it was like i was there, but was not. then i cant really say that i am not, but i was.




the feeling of being so empty in the stomach for more than a day is :/
but darling filled me up.

with love. :] [as in emotionally la]
it was a crazy night.


and nutcracker suite on friday! wee~

;treasure them

Sunday, March 18, 2007

9:39 PM

when u exercise, or start to lose weight..
we normally say that the fats are turned into muscles..

and well. i looked at this article from the scientific american on when u lose weight, where does it go by Lora. A.S

i shall just summarize

she says that when we lose weight, the fat that disappears has been broken down to usable fuel for bodily activities.

fats are triglycerides. when trimming calories or increasing exercise,
hormone-sesitive lipase responds to hormonal messages and disassembles triglycerides into their component parts, which then slip into the bloodstream.
the liver absorbs the glycerol and some of the fatty acids, muscles takes in the remainder.

inside the muscle and liver cells, the triglyceride pieces are further taken apart, yielding large quantities of acetyl-CoA.
acetyl-CoA then combines with oxaloacetate to form citric acid, starting the Krebs cycle creating a set of usable energy from fat, protein and carbohydrates.

**

understands liao.
will nv say that fats convert to muscles again.

;treasure them

Friday, March 16, 2007

10:47 PM

went out with the younger cousin & my bro today to iceskate.
and i realised that in both my parent's sides, the cousin older or younger than me have at least an age gap of 5-7 years.
make me so stuck in the middle, with no playmate in my childhood days.
hmph. explains why my bro became quite girly in his growing years. [i made him play with me]

anyway, my mind is already drifting into the chalet mood.
the mood to do whatever i like, slack around, play card games, be with friends, have owl slping times, etc.

so after the sso concert... [which was damn fab, gonna buy the disc for the nutcracker suite.]
i got myself down to read the emails, sort out the to dos, and plan for the duo meeting tml.
took me close to 2 hours to do just that.
quite time wasting.
so imagine the no. of mails.

--------------------------------------------------------------
and AND this butch or booch or whatever u spell that. the girl dressing like a guy..
he/she showed interest in me while i was on the train!
and i was like talking to my cousin with this face --> :D
and then i look at her with this face ---> ;/
but she kept on taking glimpses, looked me straight in the eye..

hey hey. i dun mind if that he/she is some hunky dude.
tall + handsome + wellbuilt + rich + a cute face
but that he/she that i met on the train is some....
fat + ugly + fat + more fats
damn disgusting can?

-imagines her touching me.....-

ouch.
arghhh. im SQUASHED.


k la.. i guess im fantasizing too much.
she didn't ask me for my number, though she kept looking at me for 5 stations throughout.
well..... maybe coz she ran for the other train after she dropped.

oh... who cares.
fat ugly HE SHE.

;treasure them

Thursday, March 15, 2007

11:34 PM

we spent lots of time together today.

and it was unexpected, which makes it more memorable.
and i got a special gift.
my one and only.

no diamonds, no jewels.
the way i want it to be.
just a simple and strong relationship.

fyi, diamonds are vulnerable.

;treasure them

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

10:39 PM

things have not been goin on well in my mind.
like what adam khoo said, its how u perceive the world, not what it really is.

i have been dreaming for days. nonstop.
good dreams, bad ones.
of me falling, hugging darling, shouting at my bro, my parents dying, me being a goddamn celeb, hiding from the germans, running away from monsters, some repetitive ones.
guess my hormones are playin the mind trick now.

anyways. drop it.

-sighs-


how would i want my year of being 19 to be?



-sighs-

should i go in the fashion route? start spending money when i have it in my hands?
or be a good girl, stay at home, do housework, stay filial.
or OR i should just START to be a nerd. and conc on my studies.
oh. hell no.
hmph.. or maybe... i could be with alicia. start a whole new lesbian thing.

hurr.
yeapps. u nv know whats in my mind.

-------------------------------------------------------------
kk. shall post abt today. met my only guy friend, joel whom i stayed in contact with for freaking 5 years.
there's this thing in us: i can shop with him
he bought me a sunkist shirt for the big 19th.
and i bought a ring.
went to vilage, and drank mushroom soup. (yummmmmy)
went to suki, and drank hot sake, ate sashimi, got tipsy.
i love food.
and im starting to love spending money.

;treasure them

10:25 AM

[x] You have to make your bed every day.
[x] You have to do chores.
[x] I have a time that I have to get off the phone and computer.
[ ] You have a bedtime.
[ ] You have to earn your money.
[ ] You can't have friends over unless your room is clean.
[ ] You can't have a boyfriend/girlfriend.
[ ] You can't be friends with someone unless your parents know them.
TOTAL: 3

[ ] You can't go shopping by yourself.
[ ] Your mom tells you what to wear.
[x] You have to look for "good deals" on clothes, otherwise you can't buy it. (mum says i can only buy during discounts)
TOTAL: 1

[x] You get grounded for stupid things.
[ ] You have a time limit for the computer/video games/tv.
[x] You have to get along with your sibling(s) otherwise you get grounded.
[x]You have to share your room. (with my bro, it wasnt nice for the first few years)
TOTAL: 3

[x] You have to ask to go to a party/friends house in a few days advance.
[ ] You can't go anywhere without a parent/adult.
[ ] You can't stay home alone.
[ ] You have a babysitter.
TOTAL: 1

[x] You're not allowed to have a tv/gaming system in your room.
[ ] You can't be on the computer without someone watching your every move.
[x] You can't have a door in your bedroom. (i have a door, but it cant function as a door)
TOTAL: 2

[x] Your parents get mad if you don't want to do something simple that they ask.
[x] You can't swim without an adult watching you. (coz i dunno how to. :P)
[x] You can't have a friend of the opposite sex over, unless they are family.
TOTAL: 3

multiply by 4 = 52%
I'm 52% controlled by my parents.




oooh. this is so upsetting.
flying high to no.19 and im still so controlled.


;treasure them

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

11:25 PM

seriously, i didnt know where did i go for the first two days.
it was around the west area, in a beach resort.
the place is too nature for us, couldnt get used to it.
but i love the way when u wake up to the sounds of birds, not the mum's voice.
and u get to see the whole sky filled with stars..
and AND u get to see the moon in the morning at around 10am.
interesting.
and AND AND u see trees. i love trees.

so on the third day, we went to cameron highlands.
took dad half a day to get us there.
-applause for dad-
went to strawberry farm, cactus point, tea leaf farm and the pasar malam.
temp was 20 celsius, and the apartment that we stayed at is damn su*ky LA.

during bathtime...
took off my clothes, turned on shower head, bathed.
5 mins later.. no more water.. waited 'nakedly'. if there is a word like this.
k.. the water came again.. two minutes later stopped.
started to shiver.. and just heck and dry myself.

now homed.
and i start to feel that family is more important than anything else.
coz they are the ones who stand by you all the time, but who notices?
time is always filled up with all other activities other than being filial to the parents.
ohwells.

i love to see them smile.
:]

;treasure them

10:31 PM

;treasure them

Saturday, March 10, 2007

12:57 AM

darling bought a webcam for me

:)

and we were so happy today.

;treasure them

Friday, March 09, 2007

10:40 AM

im still stoning at my com.

who has the song for the first suite in Eb, and second suite in F?
after playing first suite, i dreamt abt it in my slp.
its quite a catchy tune afterall.

will be blading and catching up with darling later.
ciaoz

;treasure them

10:18 AM

mai's request:
get utt's picture.

i dun really know who he is.
but oh well. he is cute too.
actually hor...
look a bit like song wei qi lei.
hmmmm












and this pic (below) came up in the search engine for utt


OMG

;treasure them

Thursday, March 08, 2007

11:01 PM

sexy.sexy.sexy.

if only..
he is mine.

MWAHAHAHA.

;treasure them

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

11:18 PM

mum was watching tv in her room.
dad was watching tv in the living room.
10 mins later, dad turned off tv and accompanied her.
then my mum said. "HELLO LAO GONG" and turns to cont her show.

i guess sometimes, she just wait patiently.. for him to be by her side.
and when he does, she will appreciate every single moment with him.
well.. but HELLO LAO GONG sounds a bit donkey to me.

its like saying.
HELLO BARNEY.

k. totally no link.

coz im so tired out from the mahjong session on sat night, the only 5 hours of rest the next day, then meetings, readups, darling, band prac, readups, phone discussion, make up session, catch up with grandma, log book account, bla bla bla.. all these in just 4 days.

not enough slp..
and the crave for more milk and cheese is scary.

;treasure them

12:01 PM

;treasure them

Monday, March 05, 2007

3:30 PM

toured in our small little dream land with darling just now.
hehe.

and im right now in sch.
waited for half an hour.
was actually early..
but now its 3.30pm
where are they?

makeup session tonight with my cousin
she gonna teach me how to put on makeup

told me that being natural is for pretties, makeup is to cover up uglies.
but weellll.. for the sake of aging and dark eye bags..
i think i should give it a try.
to save myself from this ugly world.

;treasure them

Sunday, March 04, 2007

9:00 PM

i guess being sarcastic is part of me.
but coz i know it aint a good habit to keep shooting those stuffs.

my mum scolded me off today.
i guess the tone, my body language, and my sentence turned out to be qutie nasty.
in which i didn't realis..... & i know im just rarely stating the facts.

on second thought, i guess it differs to different types of people.
my mum is a traditional, ancient woman. (hard to find)
trying to seek to the modern world, but finds herself stuck right in the middle.
emotions run her thoughts and feelings all the time.
well.. thats the environment i grew up in.. adapting to her emotions...
BAD TIMES. REALLY.
k.. back to topic..
and if she is still living in that state, which she still is now..
i cant possibly just lay my facts out in front of her.
anyhow, im still her daughter.

AND IF. i were to lay out my facts in class,
or maybe during presentation.
i only have two options to choose...
be shot dead from their replies OR continue ranting my facts just to win the 'battle'

though it may seem unnecessary.. why get so hacked up abt just one prob?
well.. thats what we do in sch everyday.
know our stuffs, and wear armors during presentation (rpstuds should get what i mean)
and maybe to my loved ones..... i should just try to give in & speak gently.

mum,
so sorry.
i took so long to realise.
moon.

;treasure them

Thursday, March 01, 2007

10:24 PM

this is a MUST WATCH.
http://singabloodypore.rsfblog.org/archive/2007/02/25/singapore-admiralty-mrt-suicide.html
believe me.. it is not scary nor bloody.

and once u finished, u will wonder.. what's in the mind of that person when he plucks that courage to jump?
& committing suicide in this way is well.. i should say.. very daring.


--------------------------------------------------------
movied with darling, -the pursuit of happyness-
and the conclusion that i made for myself at the end of the show is....
true love is able to change how you view the world.

;treasure them

11:12 AM

its such a co-incidence.
that.........

i woke up late.
i bathed longer than usual.
no appetite to have my breakfast.
it rained heavily.
i was drench though i carried an umbrella.
early in sch, late for presentation.
all so fucked up.

i seldom bring umbrella out on rainy days..
and i did it today.
still got wet afterall.
coz while crossing the road, a lorry speed pass and the water happily splashed all over me.
damn unsighlty.
& i *ucking wore WHITE.

then shivered in the cold library while i TRY TO print my coloured posters.
and its damn shitty, i tell you.
the email state that i can print them on the first level.
after 15 mins of non-stop trying..
& DAMN. HAVE TO GO TO SECOND FLOOR TO PRINT MY COLOURED POSTERS.

and i hurried up, carrying my umbrella, lappie and my bag.
after another 10 mins of whatever
gave up on the colour printer.. and tried the mono printer.
& DAMN. THE MONO PRINTER CAN RECEIVE MY FILES, BUT NOT THE COLOUR PRINTER.

so i clicked on print. and was asked to pay using my ez-link.
tapped my card.................
& DAMN. THEY DUN ACCEPT GIRO-FUNCTION EZ-LINKS.

i was left there stranded. every step being obstructed by something so common.

ran out of the room, search for people with non-giro-function ez-link..
printed my f-ing poster.
& RAN. i really ran orhkay,
down to the first floor, into the other corner of the library.. to do my presentation.

i hope i did it well.

---------------------------------------------------------------------
that's the *UCKING problem with a high technology & big spaced area school.
i have to speak some hokkien now.

kan ni na eh.

-forgive my crudeness, its a damn unlucky morn-

;treasure them