12:34 AM
a few things happened. unrelated to time, but quite amazed at how fast things go when we say that time flies. it is more like how much we appreciate the time than the speed of time flying.
1. isaac and me got back together. decided to give another chance. he gave me a bouquet of roses. then on friday we have a short walk at mt faber. quite nice.
2. last performance with rpband. enoch make me emo about leaving the band. ROARS. i guess this will be the last time i perform in a symphonic band. well, just take it as a chance to work on rock band and shopping :]
3. i am hungry now. because the dinner served was a pathetic egg, drumstick the size of my palm, and a nugget. damn enoch for not asking me to go makan nice stuff with him.
4. time for treats. you can come heck me now. i just got my pay. not reaching 1.3k and it includes OT. pathetic. well but quite good for doing crappy phonecalls and appts and getting that amt. oh well. i guess im a phone specialist thats why! haha
5. i am missing percussion. *Sighs* have to go back next week. this week tues confirm OT.
alright. got to slp with my beloved sally.
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treasure them
11:38 PM
im starting to admire green more.
some phrases from his blog. VERY random, but so like him. very unique :]
1) Today was a mysterious day. At 2 o'clock,i received an unknown call from someone whom i don't know,i think it must be someone playing a fool for nothing.After work,i travelled to my student's place,his mom was sick and so was he. I wished his two dogs are sick too,because i am too sick of his two dogs,quite gigantic.
2) When everyone arrived,we proceed to do our best for the rest. When it was over,we went down and a primary school friend saw me,gosh it was more than 20 years and he can still recognize me!~ I cant' recognize him,he is now fat and ordinary like any chiongster at my age,but then i still look like whitesnake :P
3) I am worried about the condition of one of my singers for he has a bad throat not a bad breathe,i pray to the power within to cool him down so he will not experience pain during workouts.
4) Am i tired today? maybe and maybe not, i guess i should sleep more like a polar,but then no one tells me how many hours polar bears sleep.
**
band prac in school was okay. i guess almost everyone talked about my absence. cause people from diff sections were commenting "hey v long nv see you ar"
oh well. i have said what i say. being able to understand is a totally diff thing.
anyway. band prac was good. just some hiccups. could be better overall but well. nvm.
today mai looked like a teddy bear and cici looked like a monster, enoch looked like strawberry shortcake, dennis look like dennis and sadiq looked like a leader. i took a photo of my teddy bear. lol. will make some time to upload the photos of flowers from isaac and mai beary and tanning trip.
i know i will be missing my youth 10 years after now.
;
treasure them
10:34 PM
i realised. i only took my breakfast today and unhealthy snacks along the way to jamming session.
things do happen like....
- taking 3-4 ciggies a day
- unable to slp till like 2am
- thinking about a box or bottle in my dreams
ohwell. part and parcel of being out of love.
being able to master love needs a higher recognition than a professor.
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treasure them
1:19 AM
i almost lost my wallet today. luckily didnt. get to realised it after 5 hours.
and my colleague nagged "yea. eat breakfast with me, sitting next to me, yet thinking of someone else."
girl's day out tml. thanks jason and green for being understanding.
will pay you all back! HAHA *winks*
although bad stuffs happened, people like alicia, chicken wing, joanne, wayne, mai, cici, green, jason, tsubasa, darlene, sheryl, enoch, silver and sally will help me bring me back to normal.
i just need extra time thats all.
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treasure them
10:13 AM
i dun really have the mental space to do abt arguing and shits. but i seriously admit i do not have any fault in thinking this way. or perhaps u have more fault than i do.
number 1. after when i ask about you not giving me a call. you said you were with farid. then after which claiming that i didnt give u calls either, so why do u have to call me? to hell with just calling. proceed to point number 2.
number 2. if you say u dun have 'the one' concept in your mind, then why bother saying that i am way below comparison?
number 3. if you say i dun do what i preach. then please recall yourself saying "im not as evil as you are, i do consider about other people's feelings."
number 4. you are just jealous over me going out with other guys. so why not make some time with me? other than just fixing times on fridays.. it's only the both of us. everybody done FYP before. with only two people in a group, the two members can meet out anytime. HELLO. me and you is not like 5 man team. i DUN have to fix my fridays and stick to it always. i am not your boss, nor are you mine. it is not like meetings yea.
number 5. last point. "i am a contented person and i dun see much point in comparing." excuse me, what were you contented with?
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treasure them
12:56 PM
"puffy, red and swollen eyes, reduce the efficiency during work, thus unable to make
huge eye contact with the male patients."
i have bought a fishing net rather than holding on my fishing rod. it may not be able to reach deep down the waters to catch unique fishes, but i am just passing time like how i
should be.
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treasure them
2:03 PM
i love my tree a lot. the one that i know quite a few years back, and we fall in love after seeing each other.
recently, a few hiccups surfaced.
was looking at the branches and leaves, and felt that it didnt shelter me well enough. and i started comparing with the other trees. wanting to make my tree as perfect for me as possible.
but my tree wasnt comfy with what i was doing. and we talked abt the inequalities in each other.
slowly, it became an argument, and before i could calm myself down, all was gone.
i let my tree go to find another nutrient which suits him better than i did. and that i was not what he wants as a good nutrient.
so i just assume that he take me in cause i am just there, and at that point of time i dun have high expectations.
and now, i have decided to seep through deeper grounds, and just get over what happened.
for lazy readers: i let go of my tree and likewise, my tree did it willingly.
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treasure them
11:24 PM
i got my eyebrows trimmed today.
lol. thanks darlene!
and yea. it was a tiring day. to think i still have to hear stuffs like "well, you didnt call me what, what allows you to expect me to call you?"
"im not telepathic."
oh well. you should be happy that i AM changing my attitude to suit you better.
;
treasure them
10:28 PM
alright people. the people who i know in this world are all muscians other than the three people living in my house.
so do tag any nice songs with name of band/singer! so i can try it out :]
oh welll. the school band is pissing me off.
it's like a total big clash of wants of my dad, myself, the band and work.
i cant figure out what to do. all i can do is just do what i am suppose to do and let time pass.
and if time pass faster than what the procedure can complete, then i wont be going for band, cause it takes bloody one and a half hour to step into the band room.
believe it or not, i dun really mind if they want to draw me out from concert.
if they prefer understanding than threatening, it would be good.
i understand the means of having full attendance, but i have already took minor parts of songs.
and i jolly well sit down somewhere to camouflage in between the chairs for most of the songs.
well. it is not that i did not come for band every single time. just that i was late cause of blardy work and of blardy patients who dun see the big deal of being late.
oh well. i try to make both ends good. finish on time and go for band prac.
now.. to say go for band prac.. it seems more like being there for attendance than to enjoy playing music and being with friends. what a chore!
damn! where the hell did that logic came out from my mind?
anyway. no more shitty politics.
**
time to go get some sleep.
well. i wonder why didnt u call me tonight.
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treasure them
8:15 PM
things to do.
-practise for kband2 and stargazers.
-cut my nails
-book my driving practical
-slp more
i am so emo today.
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treasure them
11:32 PM
putting time for relationship and spending time for the sake of a relationship has its meanings.
i hate the thought of me not being first in F's attention list.
something like if the phone rings, and i call for you, someone's at the door, the dog bark.
who will you attend to first?
vice versa, if for this hour, will you choose to make calls (work), meet gf (rs), slack (self) or pay a visit to family members (others) ?
and if F's gonna have your sayings again rather than change. then like what F say, i will have to change my attitude to redirect the attitude of love towards Ft hen.
simple. time or cash. the choice seemed to be controlled by F.
whatever ~
pms again.
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treasure them
10:08 PM
wee. i got this photo!
well intially i drawed mai being a fat ass using whiteboard marker.
and she drawed me back using permanent marker.
hehe. i wish to go for band tml. and i wish it wont rain tml evening.
i will love furby forever if the above sentence comes true.
furby just gave me a hard bite on sat. so im still considering. LOL.
ciao ppl.
lvoe!
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treasure them
8:35 PM
alright. things all come at one, and most of it will go at once too.
which means dun who wont treasure me as much as the others will have to go. tada.
i miss band pracs in school.
sighs. talking porno with enoch, disturbing mai with that 'bigger ass' drawing on the whiteboard and getting myself embarassed in the end, make cici have pms, looking at sadiq's smile, missing dennis.
roars.
and for the outside band, i guess i will just shrink down to one. too many miscommunication and social clashes and different interests in genres going on, and some childish freak talking behind my back. totally skinning me. gosh.
oh yea. have been sick these few days. appetite gone, and eyes berserk.
fish. explains why i have been giving time for my t-cells to rejuvenate than letting my hair dry in the middle of the night.
and for $ stuffs. my mum talked to me this noon. and i realised how despicable i was by just giving so little of my salary to them. and she taught me about how to use wisely with money by giving more to her.
._.
well partly cause i only give each of my parents 50 bucks when i earn $1000?
so now she wants it to be $100, and of top of that i have to pay partly for house utilities, which is like $200.
yea. so dun bother asking me out for expensive dinners or lunch. i dun want to get 'spoilt' in this kind of luxury which i dun think i deserve it yet.
going to sentosa beach is fine with me :] *winks at mai and cici*
i need some love.
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treasure them
11:16 PM
have started to 'feed' myself partially.
cause housework, bills and home products still not sponsored by me.
so well now the extra thing i have to pay for now is transport.
should be alright though. money is quite alright to me. i ignore the power and impact of it frequently.
so furby and silver got together again for a day.
and now furby got teared by silver. roars
revenge time! lol.
furby so fat now, run so slow.
hehe.
but i separated them of cause. and furby just kept staying in the tubes. guess i have to slowly lure her out everyday. make it a habit for her. if not so lonely :(
for now.. music will be the anti-depressant drug i take due to the inpatient patients the clinic has plus the tortoise moving computer, makes more of my hair drop by the days.
alrighty. have to go to prepare for battle tml.
*charges battery*
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treasure them
wee. i got this photo!